Retirement

Well, I've decided to retire the adoption blog. We are trekking to Cleveland soon to spend a couple of days with Arleta again and, to be honest, it just feels like the right time to transition to a new setting.

I began the 'Bringing Baby Morgan Home' blog to chronicle our adoption journey and found it to be a remarkably therapeutic tool in facilitating my adjustment, Nicholas' adjustment, our adjustment as a family of three. And, now, I feel it serves mostly to update family and friends about our goings on.

Given that new adjustments are pending, I've decided to give myself a blog-lift and shift the focus to a general parenting blog - Nicholas will still be the star of the show - the show will just be located HERE (www.themorganmemo.blogspot.com) from now on.

Those who recieve e-mail notifications of my posts will need to go to the new site, scroll down a bit and look for 'subscribe'.

Those who are reading along with the private-infertility blog, I will continue posting there until the baby is born (ie I won't turn this new one into a pregnancy blog) - after which point, I'm looking forward to retiring that blog as welll and being done with the infertility world!

I do hope you like the new look! I think Danielle did an incredible job.

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I meant what I said...

...and I said what I meant!

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At breakfast this morning, Nicholas had snarfed down some peas and some cheesey-scrambled eggs when he said, "A cracka (cracker)? Yea?"

I'm so used to interpreting what he wants and experiencing his culinary compliance with my assumptions that I didn't even realize I was flat out ignoring him when I replied, "Sure, I'll get you some cheerios" and proceeded to put them on his tray.

He looked at them and asked again, "A cracka?"

Which surprised me so I asked, "Do you want a banana?" Nicholas replied, "No, ta tu (no thank you)." He has NEVER refused a banana!

Me again, "Do you want an orange." Little man with some insistancy, "Ong, no, ta tu!"

He pointed to the pantry door and said, "A cracka! Yea?"

So, I brought him some ritz crackers and he cracked up laughing with delight while he munched down his hard earned prize, excited chanting "Cracka, cracka!"

Me? I called Matt and work and said, "You're not going to believe this...!"

Good stuff!

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Mother's Day

I remember a friend asking me shortly after Nicholas came home what it was that I loved the most about motherhood. I was stunned silent by the question and stammered out something entirely incoherent in my effort to not sound too much like a dunce.

But, the immediate response that flooded my mind was, "I'm supposed to be loving this?"

Then I felt sad.

Little man has been home nearly 10 months now and I still don't really know what I love the most about motherhood. But, I do know that I love motherhood - the gestalt of it - in all it's glamor-free glory.

And, without hesitation I can say with deep clarity that the thing that surprises me most about motherhood is just how quickly I am capable of being reduced to the smoldering ashes of impatience. I wish it weren't true about me - but, it is. And, on the whole, I don't beat myself up about it. I recognize that I have created (and likely will continue to create) plenty of opportunities to seek forgiveness from my son and to role-model humanity and imperfection to him. I take this responsibility quite seriously (sarcasm intended!).

One thing that doesn't surprise me about motherhood, but I find quite delightful anyway, is the incredible love that I experience as a parent. Nicholas' presence in my life has extended both the capacity and fierceness of my love in beautiful and humbling ways. I am overwhelmingly in love with my little man.

Today, I feel incredibly grateful to be celebrating my first Mother's Day.

It's been a very nice weekend. Thursday I gifted my mom a spa day and joined her for a massage, manicure and pedicure! Friday, these beautful flowers and tasty treats were delivered to the house - thoughtful gifts from my boys: Nicholas & Max!

Saturday we hung out with my family at my brother's house and today we trekked downtown to see the Butterfly exhibit at the Conservatory and have brunch at Palominos! Lovely, indeed!

And, if I had to choose one thing I love the most about motherhood, it truly is just being a member of the club. I waited a long time and walked arduous emotional planks for this identity and there is nothing I love more than sharing Nicholas-stories with anyone who will listen. He's hilarious and often makes for a darn good story!

AND, of course, any version of Nicholas' sleeping-times (naps and nigh nighs) are a really close second love of mine these days - motherhood hasn't altered my introverted tendencies, after all!

Signing off for a Mother's Day nap with my son!

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And, special thoughts and prayers going out to all you mothers who are missing your children and to all of you children who are missing your mothers. These days can be terribly bittersweet.

Birth Mother's Day

Many families created through adoption choose to celebrate this day-before-Mother's Day as Birth Mother's Day. I like this idea and as Nicholas grows we will continue this tradition in our family, along with Birth Father's Day in June.

I have never written about this here, but we are blessed beyond measure to have contact with Nicholas' birth family in Russia. Openness in international adoption is quite rare and our's is a story that deserves more deliberacy than I have to give it today, so I'll hold off and write more at a later date.

But, we do hold his birth family in our hearts today (and every day) with indescribable gratitude for the gift of parenthood that they gave us simply by choosing life for our son. God's plan to create our family has been incredible, indeed, and Nicholas' birth mother played the ultimate role in seeing it through.

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Superman

True superheros never reveal their hidden identities. But, I can tell you that when this superhero arrived home Sunday evening after a weekend away, I had some serious energy to burn.

And, in keeping with my altruistic, superhero ways, I spotted this driver's dilemma and sought a superhero-esq solution...

Superman, Help! My bus is stuck on this rug.

No problem, Good Citizen Elmo, I am happy to help you with your dilemma (by the way, please thank your friend Murray for teaching me this 'word of the day' last week when I visited Sesame Street).

Humph, urgh, ugh...

There you go, Elmo and Street bus passengers. Safe and sound - far, far from that terribly inconvenient rug!

Sigh. What would the citizens of Morganopolois do without me?

It's all in a good day's work!

Superman

Grant's Farm - St. Louis

Sunday after mass we went to Grant's Farm in St. Louis. This farm was opened by the Busch family (of Anheuser Busch, Inc) and was named in honor of Ulysses S. Grant, who apparently once plowed and planted the piece of land where the park now lies.

Here's Nicholas on the train that drove us through the park to the petting farm area.

General Ulysses S. Grant's log cabin

And, here are some of the incredible animals we saw from the train...

I loved that he could get right in there and pet the goats!

Washing his hands

Monkey butt!

I loved the camels - here's a mama and baby snuggling.

Pretty llama

This donkey's name is 'Miss Budweiser'!!

The elephants were eating lunch

Nicholas got sleepy and snuggled into Daddy for a rest (these are lovely little attachment moments - always picture worthy!).

And, he loved riding the carousel with Daddy!

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Susson Park - St. Louis

Saturday after nap we went to Susson Park to pet the animals and play...

Petting the pony

I'm pretty sure Daddy was saying something about bacon in this moment :(

Here are some of the animals we saw...

Nicholas and Mimi checking out the birds!

N made friends with Chloe - grabbed her hand and started walking away!

Walking with Grandpa

See the eggs? They were brand new...

...and Papa was VERY protective!

Little man ran up to the big slide all by himself!

He loves to swing. Last summer when he came home he was terrified of the swing!

Making music with another little friend!

Weeeeee....

And, at the end of the day...sweet, sweet sleep!

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St. Louis

We spent the weekend hanging out in St. Louis with N's Mimi & Grandpa. We had a great time!

Here he is teasing Zoe in her crate!
Taking a walk with Mimi & Daddy
Riding the tricycle with a little help from Mimi

Posing!

Running after Daddy...

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