Early Intervention

We had our EI meeting with FirstSteps this afternoon (for those of you who don't know, FirstSteps is the early intervention program funded by the state of Indiana to provide in-home therapeutic services to qualifying (aka delayed) kiddos up to the age of three). I really like the DT & PT who evaluated him. Unfortunately, they are team leaders and do not provide direct services anymore.

All went well today. We learned that Nicholas is delayed! Just kidding - we already knew that. But, what we did during the meeting today was hammer out services that they recommended versus services that we (Matt and I) really think are necessary. We don't think he needs speech therapy at this point - though he is clearly delayed in language development. He may need services later, but he's only been home 6 weeks so we want to give it a shot on our own.

They also recommended developmental therapy (DT) to address developmental delays (clever, no?) in cognitive, social-emotional and behavioral arenas. I told them that all we need there is someone to come in a couple of times and coach us. We can take care of this right now, too.

And, their third recommendation was for PT to address his core strength (which is jelly - little man has NO muscle mass whatsoever) and his pronating issues when he walks (the sole of his foot bears his body weight when he walks which throws his balance off and will render stairs nearly impossible to climb!). We are going to have PT come in weekly - this one feels really important. They may also have him fitted for shoe inserts.

So, sometime in mid-September we'll start having a PT appointment weekly and a DT appointment twice a month. I don't imagine we'll need DT help very long, but we'll see how it goes. The FirstSteps ladies (DT, PT & our coordinator, Judy) were pleased that we knew what we wanted and felt confident working with him on our own. I'm looking forward to seeing how we all fare.

Tomorrow we're heading to Brown County for the long weekend; celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary and taking Nicholas to the cabin for the very first time. I've been excited about this all week! It's always a fun weekend for us and the past 3 times we've been there we've assured ourselves that we would have our child with us the next trip. I'm so glad we were right last time!

So, I won't be back online until Monday. I hope you all have a nice holiday weekend. I'll sign off with a little video of Nicholas' eating extravaganza. Enjoy!

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Rhythm & Blues

Rhythm

Nicholas is constantly in rhythmic motion. He starts his morning rocking back and forth, from one foot to the other, holding onto the railing of his crib – big, happy smile to see my sleepy face. Typically he’s pretty sing-songy in the morning – unless he wakes up prematurely.

I put music on first thing and walk around dancing with him – he’s so snuggly when we do this. It’s my single favorite moment of the day with him. Here's a spot of Nicholas doing a little dancing of his own...

At breakfast (lunch & dinner) he dances in his booster seat, nodding his head, waving his hands – excited about eating (I have a good video clip from this morning, but I've lost patience in waiting for the videos to upload...another time!).

After breakfast, Nicholas hums along to the rhythm of the sidewalk grooves bumping under his stroller wheels (it’s an interesting cacophony in tandem with Max’s heavy panting and occasional gag from pulling too hard on his leash!).

And, at any given moment throughout the day music is playing from one, two or three of Nicholas’ toys – often simultaneously – clashing like nails on a chalkboard. But, he likes the musical chaos of multiple noise-making toys and he often will stand up and do his rocking dance with a big, satisfied grin on his face.

At the end of the day, Nicholas lies on my belly and glides back and forth with me in his room while I sing bedtime songs to him.

No matter how long I sing, or how tired he is – rest assured he will lay on his back and rock himself to sleep with his left thumb in his mouth and his right hand clutching his blanky.

Blues

He’s even musical expressing his upset and misery! When he’s over-tired, Nicholas does not experience his typical thrill at meal time. In fact, he’s quite miserable and actively works to share the misery with us. In these moments, he can sometimes be heard doing a little sing-whine that sounds fairly pitiful – like he’s singing the blues!

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We had a really good day today. Nicholas was more snuggly than he has ever been - he even sat on my lap for multiple 5-10 minute intervals throughout the day listening to music. How lovely? I enjoyed it tremendously, though I do wonder if he's not feeling well. Nearly half of his waking hours (estimated, of course) were spent in my arms - snuggling, dancing, rocking, walking around the house. I LOVED it!

Tomorrow afternoon we're meeting with FirstSteps - I'm interested to hear what they have to say. And, Friday morning we're heading down to 'our cabin' in Brown County for the long weekend - for the first time as a family of three (Max doesn't get to go). I'm really looking forward to it.

I'll post with video of Nicholas swimming with Matt on Sunday. So cute!

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Success / Respect

Nicholas did really well this weekend at my parents'. We went to mass Saturday evening then had dinner at the house. At home, Nicholas sleeps in his bedroom for naps and he sleeps in our room at night. So, we brought his pack & play and blankets and put him in the same room where we were sleeping. He went right to sleep Saturday night after some fun play time with Nana & Papa. In fact, he even slept in on Sunday morning.

My brothers and their families came over on Sunday and we all trekked over to the pool after N's morning nap. He had a blast! He and Matt really enjoyed swimming together for the first time. Nicholas is definitely a water baby.

After swimming, Nicholas took a shower with me and then napped for a couple of hours. We grilled out at my parents' while the kiddos played; and we headed out ~6p so N wouldn't be late for bedtime. He crashed and slept soundly after his fun-filled day.

I must say, it was awesome watching our small fry play with his five cousins (it is equally fun to watch them interact with him!). Joy. Nicholas is a social animal and it is immensely fun to watch him navigate his new social relationships.

At mass on Saturday night, Nicholas extended his arms to my parents (especially my mom) the entire hour! Ugh. The no hold rule is hard - for all of us. But, I have to say, my family was really on it this weekend. No one picked him up. When he put his arms up to them, they grabbed his hand and walked him over to Matt or me and said, "Mama up" or "Dada up". They didn't feed him (well, 3-year-old cousin Alex fed him, but we're not concerned about him wanting her to be his mommy!), change his diaper, dress him, put him to bed or get him up. They crouched down on his level and gave him hugs, played with him, talked to him, etc. But, they didn't violate our boundaries and that really means a lot to us.

I think these events are good for him - reinforcing the big hunker designed to teach him what parents are. They wouldn't be good for him if he left them more confused about us - but, it's good when others can reinforce that Matt and I are primary in his life.

We're trekking out to St. Louis in a couple of weeks to spend the weekend with Mimi & Grandpa. The drive may be interesting! Nicholas is good for about an hour in the carseat. The last 15 minutes of our drive to and from my parents' were pretty darn cranky. We'll have to make some entertainment stops on the 4 hour drive to St. Louis.

Leaving you with some pictures from the weekend...

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Swimming with Daddy
Sharing water with cousin Louie

Daddy's shoulders

Watching the big kids play outside

Swimming with Daddy and Abby

Tickles from Uncle Bryan

Eating breakfast in his fuzzy pjs

Adoption Announcement

http://www.photoinnovation.com/adoption.htm

We think she does great work!

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Making faces

Nicholas has become more and more facially expressive. I captured these during breakfast the other day...

Also, I've been asked recently what PI stands for - sorry about that! It's post-institutional (PI). I need to put the key back up that I lost when I revamped the blog look a few months ago.

We're heading to my parents for a Teed (immediate) family reunion today/tomorrow. This will be N's first night sleeping somewhere other than our home. I'm interested to see how he does. My brothers and their families are coming tomorrow, but we decided to go down tonight and get Nicholas used to nana & papa's house before the cousin-chaos is inserted into the mix. If the rain holds off, we'll go swimming tomorrow - this will be Matt's first swim with Nicholas - so, I'm hoping the rain holds off (though we really need the rain so I guess it's a win-win).

Video and pictures pending!

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Happy birthday SP!! Your card is gonna be late :)

Confidence and compliments

I always expected I’d be a decent parent. I just had it in mind that I could pull it off somewhat naturally – given the good role modeling that I received and the education I’ve been blessed to experience. I don’t think I felt overly arrogant about this, but I did feel pretty confident. And, one of the qualities I love the most about my husband is his comfort with children. He’s fun, demonstrative, loving, attentive – he really is a natural in his interactions with kids. Together, I always thought we’d be a good team – balancing each other’s strengths.

Some of my confidence was shaken, however, when parenthood didn’t come easily for us. Infertility can inspire many questions about God’s plan. There were times (and hundreds of conversations) when we questioned whether we were meant to be parents at all. Not everyone is called to parenthood – even if they want to be called to parenthood.

My confidence took another hit in our decision to adopt from Russia. I wasn’t role modeled caring for a child who had been abandoned, neglected and coming into my life after a year and a half of institutional living. I haven’t actually ‘seen’ anyone do this. PI attachment was daunting and new and scary.

I think it’s interesting that I walked into parenthood sketchy in my self-confidence. I’ve even walked through this first month questioning myself right and left. I know that’s a natural parenting experience – but, it sucks nonetheless. I have profound moments of disappointment in myself as a mother contrasting profound moments of peace. And, given we have been visited by few outsiders in our brief stint as parents, feedback is not always forthcoming.

We had a visitor last week who emailed afterward to tell me that she was amazed by my patience with Nicholas. Matt’s aunt watched a video of our first trip and told me that I’m a natural. I have had friends and blog readers e-mail me to tell that they think I’m doing a great job (particularly nice to hear from those of you who yourselves have parented through the long, attachment hunker). My mom told me that she saw me become Nicholas’ mother on the plane from Ekat to Moscow. And, Matt is lovely in his comments about respecting my ability as a mom.

To be honest, I am blow away by the lifeline that these compliments offer. I have felt every one of them acutely – gratefully – and, I have burned them into my emotional memory. It does surprise me just how vulnerable I feel in my role as a mother.

In fact, it surprises me that I’m a mother at all – as if this role has somehow inserted itself into my life without any assistance from me whatsoever! Go figure.

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The big picture

I figured out how to make the pictures bigger. Good grief. I've been blogging for almost 2 years. It's never too late. Here are some pictures from our day...

Nicholas hung out in his cubby today!

Isn't he adorable?

(DS - recognize the frog? So cute on our little guy.)

Max lays right under Nicholas' chair - so strategically placed that this afternoon I dropped a little pea soup on my way from the table to Nicholas' mouth and it landed right there!

I had to wipe his nose because his tongue couldn't reach!

Boys!

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20-months-old

Happy 20 month birthday, Nicholas.

We're so glad you're home and we love you very much!

Mama & Daddy

PI Parent Shopping

My dog is more attached to me than my son. Granted he’s had an additional 7 years with us, but nonetheless…

There is a profound difference between a bonding process and a secure attachment between parent and child. It may sound like semantics to some of you, but believe me there is an acute void experienced by those of us waiting for our child to attach – even in the midst of bonding behaviors.

Nicholas is bonding to both of us. He puts his arms up to be held. He runs across the room into our arms. He smiles and approaches us happily when we reunite with him. He snuggles into us when he’s upset. He adores skin to skin contact – especially in the bathtub. He can read our facial expressions and body language and he seems to respond emotionally.

He’s bonding with us – no doubt.

But, he’s only been with us.

Reality is – he’d bond with anyone at this point. Anyone!

Case in point – last Thursday we had our house cleaned, FirstSteps evaluated him, and a friend of mine came by to lunch with us – 5 women who were entirely new to Nicholas were in our house that day. And, he reached out to all five of them – indiscriminately. This is not a social personality dynamic. Securely attached one-year-olds will cling to their parents when strangers are around – until they’ve had time to ascertain that the individual is safe. Nicholas sees a smile on their faces and immediately wants to jump out of my arms and into theirs.

He’s a parent shopper through and through – a little charm technique he used to ‘win’ the affection of his careproviders in the orphanage, no doubt. But, I have to tell you – cognitive framework in mind – it’s hard to be the mom in those moments – painful – rejecting. Sad, but true.

One of the cleaning ladies (who knows he just came home from Russia) looked and me and said, “Wow, he’s really friendly.” I nodded and smiled thinking, “Yea, in a manipulative, self-preserving sort of way, he is a friendly little guy!”

I decided to do a little experiment today and the results were unsatisfying, but appropriate given his short stint with parents. This morning, I walked out of our master bathroom, where Nicholas was opening and closing and opening and closing and opening and closing the closet door, caught his eye, waved at him and told him bye-bye in both English and Russian. I even walked out of the bedroom into the hallway and shut the door loudly enough that he could hear it close. I stood there by the door wondering if I’d hear the pitter pat of his little feet and nope – after 2 minutes (which is a darn long time when you’re standing in a hallway doing nothing), I walked back into the bathroom and saw my little man opening and closing and opening and closing and opening and closing the closet door. It didn’t even faze him that I was gone – even though he saw me leave. Securely attached one-year-olds will follow their parents when they walk away.

That was this morning. This afternoon we were playing chase – he’s totally into being chased around the house by us (a game which I love because it behaviorally communicates that he is important enough for us to seek him out). But, when the role is reversed, he’s easily derailed – almost as if chasing after us is too vulnerable for him. This afternoon he was derailed by the couch! He crawled up on the couch and got down from the couch, crawled up on the couch and got down from the couch, crawled up on the couch and got down from the couch. So, I decided to go sit in the playroom where he could see me, but I wasn’t entirely obvious to him.

This is where it got interesting. Max joins in these chase games (making hide and seek entirely impossible when his big wagging tail is outing our location!) and he lost me when I went to sit in the playroom. This is what I observed. My black lab ran around the house looking for me – in the bedroom, in the hallway, in the kitchen and then sniffed me out in the playroom and pranced over to me happily – giving me lovies and all but collapsing in my lap. In the meantime, my toddler had walked into the playroom while Max was on his search and rescue mission and he didn’t even notice my presence there – when he did notice my presence, he went about his independent play. Securly attached children act the way my securly attached dog did when he can't find his mama and then realizes she's right there.

Sigh.

I’m not stressing about this (contrary to how this post may sound). But, I am stressing about our 6 week hunker coming to an abrupt halt one week from tomorrow. I’m not ready for the no-hold rule to be lifted. So, it’s not going to be lifted. Nicholas needs more time. I need more time. We as a family need more time. So, those of you still waiting to build your relationship with our son – please be patient with us. We know you’ve been waiting a long time for him. But, we also know that your relationship with him will only be healthy if he understands who we are.

He just doesn’t understand this yet.

But, he will.

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Citizenship & a letter from the president

We received a very fancy certificate of citizenship for our little man yesterday with a letter from the president himself, welcoming Nicholas (aka 'Fellow American') to the US! Fun.

I do think the letter is geared toward adults who have chosen citizenship, but it’s a cool memento all the same. And, what do you think? Does the White House need to spice up their letterhead, or what?

Nicholas has just started making faces. Usually he makes them when he’s not happy at mealtime. But, sometimes he’ll just wrinkle up his little face for no apparent reason whatsoever. It’s pretty darn cute.

He’s also using his first sign – more. He’s inconsistent with it, but he has used it unprompted a couple of times. Unfortunately, I think the sign means ‘Cheerios’ to him since that’s the only context in which we’ve practiced it. What’s wrong with us? Oh well, at least he can ask for Cheerios – no doubt a basic, Nicholas need!

I’ll sign off with a picture of our little man sleeping peacefully. I’m ashamed to say that he wasn’t sleeping quite as peacefully after I took the picture (pitiful, I know), but he nodded off fairly quickly after the blinding flash woke him up.
I also took a picture of my boys ready for their walk (from my phone, so the quality is not great - but, doesn't Max look innocent?). The only thing missing here is an image of me with bed head – I’ll just leave that up to your imagination – but, please don’t get too creative!

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One month

Nicholas has been home one month.

Feels strange that he's only been here a month. It usually feels as though he's been with us forever. It's not difficult to recollect life-before-Nicholas. But, life before him was pretty darn difficult; so recollecting it is not good entertainment. I expected to continue grieving all that we missed out on re: his earliest days, months, year. But, it seems that what we don't know / weren't exposed to isn't causing us pain. I don't have any experience parenting a child younger than 18 months. This is just what I know. We have God to thank for that nice reality perk.

I do have moments that still feel surreal - blown away that we have been entrusted with his care, that we are finally experiencing day to day parenting, that this is our (current) version of forever, that Nicholas is our son - that we even have a son in the first place! Those moments are rare though. Mostly, it just feels right.

It's good. It's good to have him here. It's good to be home one month. It's good to know that this is our first month of many.

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FirstSteps

A PT and an OT from FirstSteps evaluated Nicholas today. They asked me many questions about his developmental skills and 'tested' him in various ways. It wasn't intrusive at all actually - they just initiated play and watched him play independently. In two weeks they will return with a treatment plan recommendation. I'm hoping he qualifies for PT, other than that I'm guessing Matt and I can handle addressing the rest of his delays.

I think Nicholas is on the brink of graduating to one nap / day. I'm thinking I'll like this better. As it stands, we have ~3 hours of awake-time pockets throughout the day. It's a little restrictive. I'm hoping that one, long afternoon nap will open up the schedule a bit. We shall see.

I'll leave you with a picture of my three cuddly boys!

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Green parenting

It takes disposable diapers 100s of years to break down in landfills. That causes me distress. Diapering my child this past month has caused me environmental guilt (and, yes, I've read both sides of the big debate). It's actually kind of disgusting to think about the fact that every disposable diaper ever used is sitting in a landfill somewhere.

So, we're cloth-covering our boy's bootie.

After many helpful e-mail conversations with Jennifer A, I decided to order Nicholas some Fuzzi Bunz diapers. Is it not hilarious that I ordered a product named 'Fuzzi Bunz'? Really doesn't fit my self-image.

I must say, these diapers are SO soft, and absorbant, and easy, and washable. I'm a happy customer. If you're interested (to each their own), you can shop at http://www.notyourmamasclothdiapers.com/.

Here are some shots of Nicholas modeling his new Bunz (I couldn't resist posing him in his green diaper for my green parenting post! But, no, green is not the only color option.).

What you can't see from this picture is that there are many snaps - lots of room to grow. N is on the smallest setting of medium.

Max would like to state, for the record, that he had the original fuzzi bunz around here...

And, while I was sitting on the floor shooting Max's adorable close-up, Nicholas didn't want to miss out - He even gave me an 'Oooohhhh!'

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Weekend update

I had a headache all weekend. Bummer. Kept me away from the computer screen - in fact, it kept me away from any version of productivity - didn't accomplish a darn thing. So, in spite of my intermittent bouts of aching head; we had a nice, relaxing weekend!

Notable weekend updates:

Nicholas started saying 'Wow' - it comes out 'Waaaaw' - when he sees something exciting. Occassionally he combines it with his signature 'Oooooh' and says, 'Oooooh waaaaw.' Adorable - I've tried to get this on tape, but he's not into 'Waaaw-ing' on command! I can't imagine anything more thrilling than to watch a PI toddler discover the world around him - he is in a perpetual state of awe.

This weekend he fell face first into an end table - big ouch - left a bruise on his chin. He screamed and cried for quite a while. I hate to sound callous, but I am so happy when he cries in pain. We saw him crack his little head on the concrete floor of the quarantine hospital in NT a couple of times without even a whimper. It's fantastic that he's learning to solicit care when he's hurting.

We (finally) developed the camera that we had left at N's orphanage after trip#1 and are THRILLED to have 25 picture of our little man with his careproviders. They were likely taken shortly after we were there b/c he's such a small fry in the pictures. It's such a gift - makes me love them even more.

I took a video clip on our first visit of Matt holding Nicholas up over his head. Nicholas' whole body went limp, his head fell down and he didn't make a peep. I think it scared him. I was reminising about that this afternoon as I threw him up in the air and listened to him laugh hysterically as I caught him. I love noticing these incredibly cool changes in him already.

Nicholas has had 4 scream-dreamless nights in a row. It's a well deserved respite for our little man! And, regarding eating - he's back to liking what he originally liked that he didn't like last week. Fickle.

Matt filled Nicholas' deck pool (thank you, Mo!) on Friday and he had fun splashing around this weekend.

Max had fun, too!

Nicholas (finally) got to meet P&B's boys O&C on Saturday night (they arrived home 8/5)! Such cuties. All 3 boys did well together - we're going to continue our monthly hang-out and let the boys get to know each other along the way.

While I'm at it - I also want to let you know that B&K's kiddos are coming home tomorrow - TOMORROW! It's a day to celebrate, no doubt about it. Their arrival home closes the chapter for the 4 of us whom met our kids in Sept/Oct 2007. It's a great chapter to close - an ever better chapter to begin...Congratulations B&K!

Sunday morning, Nicholas discovered Baby Einstein's 'Baby Bach'. Let me just say 'waaaaw' - Baby Bach is mind numbing - quite possibly the most sedating 25 minutes of television I've endured in my lifetime. It seriously could be a pretty decent remedy for insomnia. But, our little man was completely enthralled, watching the entire video from start to finish! Here we are enjoying our first Baby Bach viewing in our pjs...(he is a lefty - and, a thumb sucker!)

And, I can't believe I forgot to mention that as of last Thursday Nicholas had gained 1 lb in 3 weeks. To put this into perspective - it's important to keep in mind that he gained 3 lbs (total) in the 9 months between meeting him in October 2007 and bringing him home in July 2008. So, we're thrilled that we've up'd the pace from 1 lb / 3 months to 1 lb / 3 weeks! Naaaay Nicholas (insert clapping)!

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Prodded & Poked

Nicholas' audiology appointment went well - in-and-out in 15 minutes! It's a bonus to not have to wait for a physician. All looks good structurally. We'll go back ~6 months or so to monitor potential changes and as he gets older and can respond to sounds on command (ha!), we'll get better comparison data. Progressive hearing loss is a red-flag in N's medical history - slight chance that he will deal with this - but, we want to keep an eye on it (that Morgan luck has us a tad paranoid that we will continue to find ourselves on the smaller side of the odds!).

We swung by the pediatrician's office early (since his audiologist was wonderfully prompt) and Nicholas endured 4 vaccination shots. The first three inspired major red-faced crying, the fourth one (MMR) inspired gut wrenching screams and big alligator tears. He snuggled right up when they were over. Bless his little heart! Such a trooper.

During lunch today, Nicholas decided to feed Max some cheerios! I quickly, said (yelled) 'Max, no beg - go lay down!' and 'Kolya, nyet yest sobaka!' He looked at me very seriously and I started laughing at myself because I realized I told him not to eat the dog! So, I rounded it out with, 'Nicholas, don't feed Max!' I have no idea what he understands anyway - he probably can't even make out my Russian. It's all 'blah blah blah' to him!

We did trek back over for a swim this afternoon - lovely! Here's Nicholas - all set. His little 12 mo swim trunks are huge on him! But, I think he looks like such a big boy in this picture.

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Rough day, beautiful moment *Ammended*

Our little man was off today - he was fussy, he had trouble napping, blah blah blah - just one of those days. I was hoping he'd bounce back a little following his afternoon nap, but it was not in the cards. I've been frustrated today - praying on a regular basis that God would facilitate my ability to make good decisions with him, be kind and gentle in my approch to his fussiness, eliminate some of the more troublesome thoughts that plague my impatience, slow down and attend to his needs - one moment at at time. I worked my tail off to be appropriate today. Wow - patience is a challenge in the midst of raising a toddler.

And, God inserted a gift in the midst of this trying day...

While I was in the kitchen tonight preparing dinner for Matt and myself (our small fry had already eaten), Nicholas was communicating his grumpiness quite loudly when suddenly he walked up to me, put is arms up asking to be held, and in a pitiful cry said, "Mamamamama!", while looking directly into my eyes. A first! I'm still smiling ear to ear. That word - one long, stretched out word - used deliberately - appropriately - in the midst of an emotional need - opened the wells of love that have been waiting for the bucket! It ran right through me - so beautiful to hear that my son knows who I am. I don't believe I will ever forget that split second of my life - the moment I understood that he is understanding. So so grateful.

Big morning tomorrow - 8a audiology appointment & 9a vaccination updates (Daddy cannot attend - darn job). I'm thinking tomorrow afternoon may be a cranky one, so I have already planned to trek back over to the neighbor's pool after lunch (with Nicholas, of course!). Here's to praying he naps decently after those shots!

And, a quick update - we are still having the screaming episodes at night - not every night, but sometimes twice a night. I think he's definitely processing some emotion in his sleep. When I open the door, he's typically still sleeping as he cries out. It's painful - but, it's healthy - and, he is settling down much more rapidly than he was initially. That's progress, I think. (Ammended to answer Jennifer's question - we don't wake him up actually. Sometimes he settles down on his own, but typically his screaming wakes him up and we go from there.)

Here are some clips and pictures from the past couple of days...

Enjoy!

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Matt is playfully feeding Nicholas (something that really seems to help him get past his initial unwillingness to try new things):

And, here he is waiting for his Daddy to come back inside from checking the grill (sorry it's a little dark!):

Here is a picture of Nicholas' first swim (bonus that his little floaty plays 'Row Row Row Your Boat' and 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'!):

And, HJ - these have to be the cutest shoes that have ever found feet! Thank you so much for this sweet gift!

Worn out

This morning Max, Nicholas and I went for a one hour walk! It really would be fun to be a fly on the leash (or the stroller, or my hat) during our walks, so I thought I'd try to capture it for you.

Nicholas - in the stroller
Max - immediately left of the stroller
Me - behind the stroller
My left arm - all over the place!

Max is not stellar on the leash. Every ~100 yards he pit stops to mark his spot(s) and to pull my arm out of socket. And, if he happens to see a dog, or a cat, or a squirrel, or a bird, or a bug along the way - he's a maniac; barking, pulling, choking himself on the leash. He's quite a sight to see. And, he pants and drools like he's on his last breath - from the very beginning of the walk! In fact, this morning we woke up at 7a and Max hopped around the house for an hour until we left for his w-a-l-k.

Nicholas sits in his stroller very calmly (lovely, yes?). Sometimes he's silent, sucking his thumb, resting back in the seat. Other times he's singing sweet little lullabys or leaning forward in the seating chatting wildly.

Me - I'm probably most unsightly sight of them all. I throw a hat over my uncombed bed head and off we go. I push the stroller with my right hand and wrestle Max with my left (hand, arm, leg, foot, whatever it takes). And, I talk nearly the entire hour: 'Max, heel!' 'Good boy, Max!' 'Max, no potty!' 'Nicholas, beautiful singing!' 'Good heel, Max!' 'Max, no pull!' 'You're such a good boy, Nicholas!'

~20 and 40 minutes into the walk, we stop for a water break (or in Nicholas' case a watered down apple juice break).

It's an event, for sure. But, both of my boys arrive home relaxed and worn out. Good times.

Nicholas loved his first swim this afternoon. He laughed and splashed and sat in his floaty for ~45 minutes! Matt is thinking about taking him back over there tomorrow. What an awesome arrangement for us - we're so grateful.

It's 7:30p and both our baby boys are sleeping hard - Nicholas in bed, Max on Matt's lap. I think I'll probably sleep well tonight myself!

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What we like

Every parent has to wade their way through the exorbitant variety of ‘stuff’ available to facilitate meeting their child’s basic (and not so basic) needs. It’s no easy task. I was certainly blessed with tips from those of you whom have gone before me (as both IA adopters and parents to toddlers). Conveniently, there is a wide variety of baby stuff that we just don’t need; but, it was still tremendously helpful to know what other parents liked best prior to navigating the world of ‘stuff’ ourselves.

So, for those of you still contemplating pending-life with your new toddlers (or, for that matter, little ones whom have been in your midst from the beginning!), here’s our top 10:

Maclaren Volo Stroller
This stroller is a huge bonus for those of you who are too tall to comfortably push a typical umbrella stroller. Nicholas loves it and has lots of room to grow. It’s also very light and foldable with one hand (this little feature comes in handy). It’s the only stroller we own.

Land’s End Diaper Bag (Backpack)
This backpack has been to and from Russia three times and doesn’t even look used. Obviously we didn’t use it as a diaper back for 2.5 of those trips – so, it also holds up as a carry on travel backpack. I also have the Land’s End Messenger Diaper Bag (but, maybe they don’t sell this any longer because I couldn’t find it online) and I LOVE it. It’s small, but spacious enough to carry a few hours’ worth of necessities. Now, please keep in mind that when shopping for diaper bags, appearance didn’t even cross my mind. Those of you whom know me in the flesh know that I couldn’t care less about fashion. So, if you’re into that sort of thing – Land’s End is probably not for you!

Baby Bjorn Bib
$10 for a bib is ridiculous, I know. BUT, this is a great find. It’s sturdy, but flexible and just needs a wipe down after use. The catch-all pocket is a lovely little feature and the best quality – this bib can go right in the top rack of the dishwasher. Makes me happy. I don’t imagine this would be a good travel bib; we used disposables in Russia.

Changing Pad
This is the one we have – though it could be any as far as I’m concerned. We don’t have a changing table – just a pad – on the floor! I can’t imagine changing Nicholas on a table anyway, he’s a wiggle worm. But, it’s also nice to have a designated spot where we change him. He knows what’s happening when we lay him down there and, given we’re new to this diaper changing experience, it’s nice to have a pad we can wipe down or wash the cover when ‘spills’ happen! It’s a heck of a lot easier than cleaning the rug.

On-the-Go Booster Seat
This was a gift from two KF Ekat families whom knew firsthand how difficult it is to feed a toddler in a hotel room! It packs down very small and was a lifesaver in Moscow. We have already gotten a lot of use out of this little gem – in fact, it trekked back to Russia with P&B!

Dishwasher Basket
Big bonus – holds all the small stuff so we don’t lose things at the bottom of the dishwasher!

Mozart Magic Cube
Nicholas LOVES this music box and he is hitting the buttons every waking minute. He certainly plays with other toys, but even then he’ll walk or lean over and push the button for more music when it stops playing. Fortunately, it is Mozart! The music is lovely and they’ve broken it up into instruments that you can turn on and off with the push of a button. Very cool. This one is definitely my favorite, too!

Fisher-Price – Booster Seat
We all love this seat; Nicholas because eating makes him happy, Matt and I because this seat is amazingly easy to clean. Plus, we really liked the idea that we could pull him right up to the table with us – didn’t really want to mess with a big, ‘ole high chair in the kitchen – and, having him at the table does make things easier and facilitate his sense of belonging. It also grows with him – we’ll get years of use out of this lovely seat.

Snug Tub
We have the fish tub (not the duck tub!). I have to admit, I ordered this from onestepahead.com and when it arrived I thought to myself, “This is entirely unnecessary.” And, I don’t disagree with myself still. However, it is entirely handy to have. Nicholas is a wild child in the bathtub and he has taken to flinging his head back onto the back of this tub, making kiss lips and waiting for me to lean in and kiss him – with a big smile, he resumes his bathroom-soaking sloshing around. I would have paid a heck of a lot more than $20 to have this experience with my son every evening! Makes a mama’s heart happy.

Fisher-Price – Safe Voyage Car Seat
We hit a major score on these car seats (we have two). It’s basically the Britax Marathon for almost ½ the price. Additionally, I found them on a 50% off sale! I don’t know if they’re making them anymore (which may be why I got them for such a reasonable price), but if so, they’re highly recommended by us!

Well, that concludes our top 10 list of baby-products we’re grateful to own – I definitely think these are worth checking out if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the marketing frenzy. I imagine this list will ebb and flow as our little guy develops into a bigger-little guy!

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OC Schedule & Routine

I’m a schedule person – no doubt about it – I like a good routine! I think we’ve established a pretty good daily schedule for Nicholas – meaning it’s working well for us right now. This is what currently stands:

Up / Breakfast / Play ~6:30/7a
Walk w/Max ~8-9a
Snack#1 ~9a
Nap#1 ~9:30-11a in his room
Lunch ~11:30a
Play / Swim / Errands ~12-2p
Snack#2 ~2p
Nap#2 ~2:30p-4p in his room
Dinner ~5p
Bath / Rock ~6p
Bedtime ~7p in our room

How’s that for structure?

One of the best things I did for myself between trips (and, those of you whom have been reading along for a while know that I did MANY organization-related things between trips to occupy my time) was to post a schedule and menu plan on the refrigerator.

Truth is – I’ve never been primarily responsible for a toddler’s care before (scary, I know). I had no idea what, how much or when he should eat and do other baby-related activities (like sleep!). So, me being me, I did some research and figured it out. But, in the midst of the wait, I found it difficult to put this information into a context that would ultimately help me commit it to memory – so, I typed it up and posted it on the refrigerator (insert commentary making fun of my type A neuroses here).

I will tell you – the first week we were home, both Matt and I referenced those lists fairly often. It was like having a mom in the kitchen with us every time we had a question!

We had a good weekend, all said. Here are some cute clips of our little man. In this first one, Nicholas is feeding himself a banana (this one is kind of long and the other two are much shorter)!

Here he is running into his Daddy's arms!

And, here he is enjoying a ride on the video rocker :)

We caught Max being cute today, too! (Yes, that is our couch!)

Tomorrow, if all is going well, Nicholas will enjoy his first swim - I'm hoping to get some pictures, but given I'll be in the water with him - that may prove to be difficult!

I'll leave you with some Nicholas-tidbits that have struck us as funny this weekend:

• We clap and say, ‘Yea!’ to him a lot. When Nicholas repeats it he claps and says, ‘Naaaay!’ while laughing hysterically!
• He squats, grunts and winces his little face – needing no privacy whatsoever – while relieving himself!
• Sometimes he walks around the house with his hands behind his back as if he is deep in thought.
• This weekend, Nicholas has thoroughly enjoyed watching himself on video! We watched the water table clip many times and he pointed to the screen smiling and said, 'Oooohhhh!'
• He’ll say, ‘Allo’ and put the phone to his ear (even if the object he is holding to his ear is not a phone!), but when someone is talking on the other line, he gets very serious and listens intently – not saying ‘Allo!’
• He holds his hand over his mouth and fakes sneezes and coughs! But, when he actually sneezes or coughs – he sprays it all over.

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By the way - Nicholas has been sleeping nearly 4 hours at this point and has not woken up screaming tonight - very good news, indeed. Last night he had two separate episodes, so I'm glad he's getting a bit of a break tonight. Sweet baby.

Water table=fun & Mealtimes=unfun

One of you commented that Nicholas needed a water table (sadly, I didn't even know that water tables existed) - another of you read that comment and offered yours! Thank you so much, RD! He LOVES it.

Here he is gearing up for some fun in the sun (with scary-sunscreen hair, swim trunks from SP, and the very first article of clothing Matt and I ever acquired for our child - a Gulf Shores t-shirt we bought on vacation last July - immediately after we made the Ekat decision - wow, that was a whole year ago!).

And, here he is in action...

Even Max enjoyed the water table!

On the whole, it's been a good day around here - took a long walk this morning with Nicholas and Max and spent the afternoon sloshing around in the water. Can't beat that! We also received a standing invitation to use our next-door neighbor's pool anytime we'd like. How fantastic? I'm going to take him up on that offer Monday - will be Nicholas' first swim.

We are having some interesting issues at meal times these past few days. Nicholas is fussy as we start feeding him, turning his head and crying when we spoon out a bite of food. The confusing part is that we either know he likes it because he's eaten it happily before - or, if it's something new, he won't try it at all. However, if we put the spoon up to his lips, once he gets a taste of it he'll snarf it right down - to date there is nothing that he has ultimately refused to eat.

What gives? It looks like he has a texture sensitivity - but, it doesn't play out that way once he actually tries the food. He's also not interested in feeding himself (and we're not pushing this because feeding him is a good bonding activity) and he's only really interested in eating food that is entirely pureed (which isn't age appropriate, but he was only fed pureed food at the orphanage, so he doesn't have a ton of chewing experience). I certainly understand that he will start to show food preferences, but even this doesn't seem to be happening yet. Any theories?

Over the past 2 weeks, his diet has consisted of the following:

Carrots, sweet potatoes, green beans (entirely pureed)

Applesauce, pears, peaches, bananas (he will feed himself a banana)

Kasha, rice cereal, baby oatmeal

Cheerios or puffs, graham crackers, teething / chewing biscuits (he feeds himself all of these finger foods)

Milk and yogurt

Pea soup, vegetable soup / borsht, spaghetti & sauce, etc (all of which are watered down versions of our food and entirely pureed for him)

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Ammended: Nicholas woke up from a scream-dream just before I posted this (this is happening nightly ~8p - an hour after he's gone to bed). Tonight, as I cradled, rocked and sang to him he fell asleep in my arms! It's the first time this has happened since we got home. He did wake up shortly thereafter, but it was so amazing to feel the tension leave his little body entirely - even just for a couple of minutes. Powerful.

We're batting .500

Nicholas had a good day with Daddy! Yea!

So, it appears we're batting .500 for the almost-week.

Tuesday w/Daddy = rough day
Wednesday w/Mama = good day
Thursday w/Mama = rough day
Friday w/Daddy = good day

Noticing a pattern? I'm glad we're both home tomorrow :)

Hey, at least he's spreading out the glory and the pain. What a thoughtful kiddo!

Good weekend, All.

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